Baby Yoda I don’t care what day it is it’s early I’m grumpy I want Pepsi shirt
Rewinding back time, I was on a similar boat. I chased after people who never truly understood me, and always chose someone before me. Not to sound all selfish about this (I’m sure I was lacking a lot of things as well - I wasn’t very sociable, and I stuck to very little friends), but essentially I’m on the bottom of the bucket for them, and if they absolutely had no other choice amongst their long list of friends, they would choose me. At first I thought it was because I’m different (which I am, but it’s only a medium-sized portion of it - barely 50% - cough INTJ cough), but what I found out after years of just basically letting myself get burned by the people I loved, I realized that I was lacking in the area of confidence and self-love, and people can sense that underneath the surface (especially those who prey on people who can’t defend themselves effectively).
Fast forward after a few years, and more burns later, I stopped chasing after people. The whole game got tiring, and I was tired of pretending to be another person just to cater to their needs. It’s then that I learned to treasure solitude, and basically discovered more about myself, and learned that I can achieve just as much by myself than with other people (but the right company would be nice), and I’m absolutely fine with that (being around people is tiring in most days anyway).
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